Thursday 2 December 2010

First Post - Five Weeks (Approx) - 02/12/2010

Hi from Amy & Chris! =)

We are just a couple living Blackpool having a baby.


Okay, there is a lot more to that as you will be able to tell over the next 35-40 weeks. Amy is 18 and originally from Scotland and I (Chris) am pretty much from Blackpool and am 20 years old. We recently found out that we are soon to be parents and so decided to start this blog to document it so we could show our child(ren?) how we dealt with the whole issue of pregnancy and to keep our family back home up to date on how it is going and how we are feeling.


The doctor has estimated her to be 5 weeks gone and already we have planned stuff. We are soon to move up to Montrose, Scotland so Amy can be near her family while she goes through the pregnancy. I'm on holiday here right now just for a week to see the place as I've never really met her family so we thought it would be only right. Its not that bad. I got lucky as the snow was coming down on my way there so the place was lavished with snow. Its a very different place to where I got brought up but I love it and I love my girlfriend and somehow, even our unborn (or even un-processed) baby!


I will be putting a picture of us up now but once the scan comes, after I stop crying mind, I'll be uploading that STRAIGHT away (will be around my birthday! SCORE!) =).






So to us, our baby and our new life - Welcome to it! =)

Thursday 1 January 2009

Hitler vs. Jesus

Right, so a couple of weeks ago my friend (who happens to be a stoner as you can probably guess) asked me who I would rather be. Hitler or Jesus…?

First though before I say anything else… I want to initially state that I’m going to discount the whole ‘Son of God’ argument in this debate because:

1.       If he was the Son of God he’d win… Hands down… No questions asked…

2.       Gods your dad… Well done *Thumbs up*

3.       God doesn’t exist so he can’t really have a son!

For arguments sake, if god did exist it still wouldn’t be that likely but a bit more plausible.

Now before all you Christians and religious nuts get all angst with me about that… I’ve done some research and what happened was science basically disproved the god theory and has fact-based evidence on you know… Evolution, the Big Bang theory, carbon dating, dinosaurs… It’s what I like to call ‘WHAT REALLY HAPPENED’ as opposed to the bible. The bible is at best what could be described as a tale of whimsy if anything…

There are a lot of contradictions in it…

What are the morals in the bible?

·         Don’t be a woman

·         Don’t be gay

·         Don’t trust your friends

·         If a talking snake comes up to you, ignore it ‘because it’s talking bullshit!

Yeah, the list goes on…

 

So… Jesus or Hitler? I’d rather be Hitler… Now I can appreciate that may be a controversial decision but let me explain…

 

 

Firstly, Jesus is just a regular bloke with a pretty shitty life… His mum was a slut…. There was not any immaculate conception! We all know she was playing around but not just that! Instead of her just admitting to a bit of rompy-grompy behind Joseph’s back while carpeting she thought this:

‘I know what I’ll do, I’ll just convince the entire world and multiple generations that god (creator of the universe, life and sins) to pick me to have his one and only son, the only representative of god on earth. That’s what I’ll do… We’ll probably even get some gifts off some wise men. Ya know? Make some money out of that and sell them on EbayBC (Yes I just made a B.C as in the 400 B.C joke)’

 

NOW this is the problem I have…

The wise men weren’t that wise if they didn’t realize she was a lying tart.

Also, if you was god, why would you stick your one and only son at that specific point in time in that specific place right next to the place where King Herod was thinking ‘I know... Let’s slaughter all the infants’, forcing Mary and Joseph to escape so Jesus wasn’t killed within 5 minutes of his birth before he can even speak. A better idea: Why didn’t god just stick him with a nice Egyptian family in the first place? You’d think that god would have the foresight to put him in a nice place. He’s done well to say he’s created the earth and the heavens etc. He slipped up there on his own son! Bad parenting skills from the almighty one, would you not agree?

 

Secondly, the betraying mate. Judas didn’t shag his girlfriend, he didn’t call him names, and he didn’t make some money off him. No. He handed him in…. TO GET CRUSIFIED. Hitler on the other hand. He was Führer  of Germany… The WHOLE country. Führer  for nine years from 1935-1944. Somewhere around the 1940’s basically. Jesus couldn’t even get 12 of his best mates or apostles as he liked to call them (Heard himself haha) to like him.

 

Granted, the choices Hitler made weren’t always the BEST judgment. Maybe a world war and the Holocaust were rather controversial BUT at least his mother wasn’t a slut. His mum WAS related to his dad though which is a LITTLE bit inbred and his dad did beat him as child so immediately we’ve got some sort of reasoning of why he might be mentally unstable! We’ve also got the whole nature Vs. nurture debate. Here though they are working together and it just got a little bit messed up. So maybe he got things a little bit wrong like deciding what’s good and what’s the absolutely most evil, hideous crime to mankind in human history! There’s a fine line!

 

Thirdly, as I mentioned earlier… There are quite a lot of skeptical views and evidence that Jesus didn’t even exist… Hitler on the other hand… Yeah… Hitler 100% definitely existed as one of the most famous men to date. If a genie came up to me and said ‘Ok Chris, Jesus or Hitler… Who do you want to be?’ and I said ‘Jesus’. Then he changed me and I didn’t exist, I’d be a little bit pissed off… Okay I wouldn’t be in existence to be pissed off but if there was an emotion to portray what my non-entity was feeling then it would be a little bit pissed off.

Had I of chosen Hitler I’d be guaranteed a good 56 years. He’s definitely not a fictitious character. Hitler has written one of the best selling novels of ALL time, he sold over 10 million copies of Mein Kampf.  Now Jesus, granted, stars in the best selling book of all time. That sold like 6 billion copies but he’s just a word on a piece of paper. It’s like saying ‘ohhh who would you rather be? J.K Rowling or Harry Potter?’ A lot of you are going to say Harry Potter, but no you wouldn’t. He does not exist, if he was real you would but he doesn’t. It’s like saying ‘J.K Rowling or the word box?’ Not A box, just the word box. Jesus is nothing but a word. Hitler sold 10 million copies which are on par with what? ‘A Brief History Of Time’, ‘Catch 22’ and so on. If you look at it this way though. All these books were sold 2.5 to 1 by ‘A very hungry caterpillar’ (Yes the children book).

 

Now back to Jesus vs. Hitler and less of the books.

 

Jesus Christ. The Christ part is important if you believe in the rest of the bible. Hitler on the other hand was called ‘The Great Dictator’. Now he wasn’t called the okay dictator or the bad dictator. The clues in the title very much like ‘The hungry caterpillar’ and that was very popular. So something’s to be said there. Jesus? Jesus Christ who? Adolf Hitler? Oh, he’s the great dictator.

 

Ignoring what Hitler did with his command and ignoring the god thing I would rather be Hitler because he did, well done, get all them people to listen to him, Jesus couldn’t manage twelve. He wrote a best selling book. Jesus didn’t he just starred in it even though he did not exist. His mums not a slag (HA FUCK YOU MARY). He is still messed up but despite all that adversity he is still one of the most famous men in history. Jesus? He’s only famous because of who his dad SUPPOSEDLY is. There is not even evidence god existed to BE his father.

 

So in conclusion I chose Hitler.

I’d like to hear your thoughts, opinions and decisions too.

Christopher Smith.

Wednesday 31 December 2008

Racism Essay For College

The following essay was something i wrote to prove i have literature skills to get in to college. I have no idea why i chose the most controversial issue - EVER - but i did and although the tutor was like WTF? i got in to college so here it is for your viewing pleasure! Tell me what you think too!


The following was a reply when a friend of mine asked, "Are you a racist?"

 

I wrote the following;

 

I am a thinker. I question things that are. I don't quite accept a thing "just because." Or because, "that's how it is." Those aren't valid to me. This brings me to racism. The definition for racism is as follows;

 

1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

 

First let me say, race DOES account for differences in character and ability. Also, there are particular races that ARE superior to others.

 

Let me support this with examples. There are obvious physical differences in races. Skin color is the simplest example. So that proves there ARE differences in race.

Next, concerning superiority, I'd have to say that superiority is subjective to the race and the task being performed.

 

Why is the majority of basketball players black? Coincidence? Why are the top boxers black? Coincidence? It would appear that blacks are superior to whites in most sports involving a high degree of physical prowess. And by believing a fact that is obvious to anyone with a small degree of common sense, it defines me as racist.

 

But does being a racist require recognition and belief of this fact as well as persecution of other races? Absolutely not! So while I comfortably and honestly call myself a racist, I'm not going out and trying to persecute other races. Racism is not persecution; they are two totally different concepts.

 

Societal downfall always comes on the heels of nations that refuse to accept logic. As members of the 'western world' we are constantly told that everyone is equal, we are all the same, just different skin color, that's all. If blacks are superior in sports, if they are more than 70% of the basketball majority when only 13% of the population is black. Then is it so difficult to concede that different races actually DO have differences?

 

Let's look at some of the greatest minds; DaVinci, Thomas Edison, Werner Von Braun. They were all white, DaVinci had concepts of a machine which we now call the helicopter, Edison put sound on a wax disc and the record player was born, he encased tungsten filament within glass and applied an electrical current, Voila! Let there be light. Werner Von Braun's contribution to aeronautics gave birth to rockets which in turn gave rise to the next great endeavor of mankind, exploration of outer space. And let us not forget the Wright Brothers, and they're contributions to flight. I could go on and on, Henry Ford, manufacturing genius. He created one of the most streamlined factories of all time, a founding father of an industrial revolution. The ability - when combined with these other contributions - to produce these goods on an unequaled scale, with consistent quality is undeniable. So too is the fact that these were all Caucasians. Coincidence? Nope, merely recognizing a fact. These are facts that are not politically correct, but are - nonetheless - correct.

 

Here is something eerie to try. Take a sketch of ten random Caucasian’s faces, then take a sketch of ten random gorillas, next take a sketch of ten random blacks. Compare the sketches...ask yourself, "Which race has a physical appearance closer to that of the gorilla?" In fact, if the sketches were transparencies and were laid on top of each other, the sketch that would be the one in between would obviously be the black. Now, this is not something concrete and does not prove anything 100%, but it does provide a basis for a hypothesis.

 

If blacks can be so much better in sports, then is it really so unbelievable that - in the area of thoughts and matters concerning civilization building - that whites might actually be superior. I not only think it's possible, I think it's the truth. Think of every great invention that has substantially changed the world; what race was the inventor?

 

There are people who equate the very thought of racism as an illness. But as far as I can see, racism is just common sense. To me there are more facts supporting differences between races, than against! The racism phobia is - in short - a phobia of logic. That's it, plain and simple. And with this analysis, one begins to see how truly fragile this whole notion of equality really is. This facade fades away and the card house composed of jokers folds in upon itself and falls.

 

We aren't equal, we are different, and we are all the result of an environment that has shaped us. If one was to visit Africa to this day, Negroes STILL live on the plains, in huts. They have yet to truly master their land; the African Negro is still the nomad, searching for an animal to kill, wandering. They are not even close to the advancements achieved by Caucasians, but if one was to mention it, he would be labeled "racist."

 

So what does society do? They send food. Is this humane or not? Is it morally right to feed a man for a day or do we teach a person to fish instead? I believe the opportunities have been around for hundreds of years now, and that the African negroes should at least have begun building basic civilizations, but they haven't. Is that coincidence too or will people just admit, that civilization and African Negroes will not ever be one and the same?

 

I see feeding this race - in the form of what they call "relief" - is absurd. How can a group claim to want to solve a problem of starving Africans when they don't first address the issue of how the very food they give is what gives rise to more hungry mouths thus worsening an already bad situation. It's hypocritical and extremely short sighted. And until people can look problems in the eye without being called racist (with an evil implication) then Africans will continue to multiply, children will starve and all for what?

 

If more people were racists, maybe the problem could be solved. But by denying innate differences, we have failed a duty in truth. And without truth, there is no wisdom, and without wisdom there can never be a satisfactory conclusion.

 

The first step in changing things is to eliminate the implication that racism and persecution are one and the same. For far too long it has been ingrained on people that one is the other and vice versa. Once I understood what racism really meant, I was proud to call myself "racist." Then again what other brilliant conclusion should be expected of a person like me; I am - after all - white.

 

The comments I made in this essay were not against or aimed at any race but to prove my point that racism is an over-rated concept and i hope whoever reads this is not so naive to think it was aimed in a derogatory manner

 

Christopher Smith


Tomorrow or they day after i will be posting a new debate up entitled 'Who would i rather be? Hitler or Jesus?'. Expect... Chris-like views.


Peace ya'll x

Wednesday 19 November 2008

Morning Banter

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Tuesday 18 November 2008

Your a virgin and now i'm going to fuck your mind with my literature and thoughts.

Okay, so technically this is my first blog on this site! The others are what i made on MySpace a while ago.

I do have one favour to ask though.
If you have read my previous two blogs you will of realised that i am very sarcastic, always have an opinion and also like making lists.
So for you to get to know me a bit better, if you have any curiosities on what i think or what my favorite whatever is... Ask me and i will answer yours questions/do the lists in the next blog!

NOW!
Onto business!

I have a 120GB I-Pod Classic!
Yays!
BUT...
I want some new/good music on. Something that's new to me and that i will like. Any recommendations?
Don't go judging me by my cover. I listen to everything. So anything you recommend will not make me laugh and flip you off!
....
Unless its Teletubbies soundtrack, then yes your probably going to get flipped off!

Okay i have nothing to talk about because it is my first blog so hurry and give me something to write about! =)


I also recommended songs on my MySpace blogs so i am going to carry that tradition going!

Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy

It is almost like a lullaby this song. I have fell asleep to it countless times.

Bizzle-Mah-Nizzle =)

Top 10 things I look for in a woman

K so my friend was asking what i looked for in a girl-friend so i was like... I don't know? Then I thought... Furthermore I made my 'Top 10 Things I Look For In A Woman' in descending order. I have showed one or two people this before posting it and they have been in stitches, so I guess you will find it funny!


10. She needs to have a vagina.

09. She has to have blonde hair... Or brunette... Or red... She doesn't even have to have hair to be honest!

08. She's going to need some polish and a pan... Now she can get to work!

07. I'm looking for a girl that, right after kisses me, she just punches me in the jaw!

06. Wait... Why were number 10 'to have a vagina'? Isn't that the definition of a female?

05. I need a girl who can eat a 12 inch long hot-dog without her teeth then can smile afterwards!

04. I want a girl who can read! *Shows Karma Sutra book while maintaining a cheeky grin on
ones face* Yes… I've heard it before… Typical me :)

03. I want a girl whose favorite form of birth control is to swallow!

02. I need a woman that will lie to the police when they come looking for me.

AND FINALLY...

01. I need a girl that's on the pill, got the patch or has a spermicidal vagina!


Let me know what you think about this section.. I'm VERY intrigued to know male and female views xD...


3 questions for youuu!

1. What do you class as cheating? Do you class just a simple kiss as cheating? Or does it have to be much more?

2. Did you like my '10 things I look for in a woman'?

3. Do you want kids? An if you had kids and they turned out ginger would you have them adopted? J


BuhBye =)

Quotes for the mind

Okay so its 10:53 in the morning and i was just listening to a song by Finley Quaye called 'Dice' from The O.C soundtrack. Its pretty amazing. It got me thinking though that, although i seem to love reading quotes i've never made a definitive list of my favourites so i'm going to do my top 10 now in descending order for your viewing pleasure!


10. Nancy Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison."

Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband I would take it."

9. Winston Churchill: "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

8. Winston Churchill: "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." (They won't all be Churchill i promise, he just happens to be one of my favourites!)

7. Whitney Young: "The truth is that there is nothing noble in being superior to somebody else. The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self."

6. Chris Smith (ME OBV): "I'm looking for the answers but i'm not prepared to ask any questions."

5. Henri Frederic Amiel: "Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart."

4. Frankie Boyle: "They're always saying 'don't deal with terrorists'. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 british slags."

3. Sean Lock: "You make as much sense as a indie bands lyrics."

2. Don't know who wrote this quote i just have always had it in the back of my mind..."Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

"My final quote is on borderline of quotation/poetry. It is named 'Our Deepest Fear' by a woman called Marianne Williamson. She does not get credited alot for it though as many people thought Nelson Mandela was the writer of this. Tell me what you think about this one please people.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darknessThat most frightens us.

We ask ourselvesWho am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

Comment on it and tell me some of your favourite quotes to. Subscribe to if you like 'cause i think i'm going to be writing alot more blogs.P.S... Its took me nearly 1 hour and 30 minutes to write this. Can you tell i REALLY thought about it lol!